DEAR ELLIE: My ex-wife and I split up eight years ago but stayed amicable for the kids' sakes. Two years ago she was having problems with our daughter (then 17) and asked to have her move in with me. I declined, as I was working two jobs. She dropped off my daughter's belongings on my porch, and she's been here ever since.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm single and "parallel dating" -- I've been seeing one girl for two months; we're physically intimate, though we've had no explicit discussions about exclusive relationships, nor implicit "I love you." I've gone on a couple of dates with someone else (but not very intimate). I find myself in a moral quandary: Am I cheating and being dishonest, or am I just maximizing my dating? I get the sense this could blow up in my face.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm breast-feeding, and during my lunch hour I go to the ladies' lounge, set up for that purpose, and express my milk. However, the lounge is often occupied for non-nursing purposes. A co-worker made a sign informing the time I'd need the room; some people became offended and complained.
DEAR ELLIE: My fiancee and I are great together, but she's not into sex like I am. During our five years together (both still living with parents), our sex life has been so limited that it's always just the usual positions. I have to beg her for oral sex, though I have no problem in return.
DEAR ELLIE: I lived with my fiance when his career made him a local celebrity; to my surprise, I, too, was caught up in it, with the media following me around. So when he cheated on me, everyone read/heard about it and questioned me about it.
DEAR ELLIE: My daughter had a beautiful destination wedding recently; I planned air travel, hotel, car rental, insurance, activities, etc. for 50 guests. My husband and I happily paid 100 percent of the wedding.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm 22, together 18 months with a man, 40. We get along well, but big fights happen when I try to stop his calling another woman three or four times daily over six years (they've never met). They used to have phone sex; he says they're now just friends.
DEAR ELLIE: My son and his fiancee adopted a beautiful dog that shares space on their furniture (the bed too) and has damaged many things.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm getting married in mid-October and would like to invite my ex-boyfriend. He's had a girlfriend for the past few years, and she hates me because she believes that during the first early months they were together, I was trying to win him back. I was single then, so I was calling and wanting to see him more often.
DEAR ELLIE: My father-in-law is a tough, stubborn man who talks to my wife like she's still a child -- barking orders, dismissing her ideas. She's depressed after every visit but still wants to see her mom.
DEAR ELLIE: I recently started a relationship with a man to whom I'm physically and mentally attracted. Every morning I wake up and see him sleeping, I want to wake him to tell him, "I love you," and let him know every minute, every day. But I'm cautious about saying it, as I don't want him to freak out. Should I listen to my heart and say it, or let him tell me when he's ready?
DEAR ELLIE: I started dating a man when he was going through a divorce; when finished, he got the raw end. His ex got everything: the house, car and kids. He was depressed, then turned to drugs and drinking.
DEAR ELLIE: Whenever I relax with friends, my girlfriend says I drank too much, said something that disrespected her, acted the fool, etc. She ruins my time with her constant "let's go," and nags me the next day for things I don't even remember doing!
DEAR ELLIE: My big mouth has gotten me into trouble; in the heat of the moment I said some things I didn't really mean about a girlfriend's sisters. I said them to her mother-in-law. I believe my blabbing has been repeated to my friend. I've tried via e-mail to speak with her but am getting nowhere.
DEAR ELLIE: At lunch with lady friends, we shared a sampler. One of the ladies would talk and bits of food would land on our communal dish. I found this repulsive but didn't want to say anything.
DEAR ELLIE: I've been widowed for one year, have two young adult children still at home; my life is busy, my friends supportive, but I'm petrified of being trapped in the "Widow's Zoo."
DEAR ELLIE: My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for two years; we've lived together these last two years.
DEAR ELLIE: After I divorced, I dated a man intensely for several months but took time before I was intimate with him. Still, shortly after we did have sex, he dumped me. I was devastated. Why do men do this?
DEAR ELLIE: I'm a man, mid-20s, own a nice house, a car, have a solid job, enough friends and am not worried about my looks. But what's always seemed out of reach is a steady relationship.
DEAR ELLIE: Are there any Relationship Rules to help me not make stupid mistakes in the early phase?
DEAR ELLIE: I was recently shocked to learn my husband occasionally does recreational drugs. I knew he'd experimented when younger (as did I), but believed that ended when we married 10 years ago. I was furious at his deception, upset that some of the drugs are fairly hard core. We have young children.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm in my late 40s, in a 13-year relationship that's gone stale. We're little more than dinner companions (zero commitment, communication or future plans).
